By: Goodluck E. Adubazi, Abuja

At the 2025 Voices Against Violence (VAV) Conference in Abuja, a chilling warning echoed across the hall: “We keep asking the wrong questions.”

Speaking with the urgency of someone witnessing a silent epidemic unfold, Smile Outreach founder Bidemi Adedire dismantled long-held assumptions about sexual abuse in the digital age. Her message was clear—the real danger begins long before the assault.

“The Crime That Happens Before the Crime”

Adedire told the audience that society often focuses on why victims meet predators instead of examining how predators skillfully manipulate children—sometimes for months or years—until abuse feels like consent.

“Grooming,” she said, “is invisible violence. It’s slow-motion abuse.” She described it as architecture—a psychological cage built brick by brick through trust, secrecy, and emotional dependency.

Technology, she warned, has made that cage far more sophisticated.

A Generation at Risk

New studies presented at the conference revealed an alarming trend:

1 in 4 children aged 9–12 believe it’s normal to date an adult.

Up to 20% of youth aged 12–17 in African countries experience online sexual abuse annually.

In Nigeria, 60–80% of female secondary school students have faced grooming attempts.

Predators, she emphasized, rarely appear as threats.

“They arrive as comfort, as solutions, as the only person who truly listens.”

RAINN statistics reinforce this reality—most victims know their abusers, with estimates ranging from 60% to over 90%.

Inside the Digital Predator’s Playbook

Adedire outlined a blueprint investigators say is now frighteningly consistent:

Target Selection: Predators scan social platforms for vulnerable posts—loneliness, insecurity, family conflict.

Connection: They become the ideal friend, mentor, or romantic interest, responding instantly and validating every emotion.

Isolation: “Your parents won’t understand.” “Your friends are jealous.” Emotional dependency forms.

Desensitization: Sexual jokes, images, and conversations begin subtly, then escalate.

Control: With photos, secrets, and confessions saved, threats emerge—“If you don’t do what I want, I’ll expose you.”

“By this point,” Adedire said, “the cage is complete.”

With AI advancing rapidly, she warned, predators now use artificial intelligence to personalize manipulation with unprecedented speed.

Violence Before the Eyes Can See

Panelists at VAV2025 agreed that digital grooming must be treated as actual violence—not just a precursor. They urged Nigeria to embed protection into digital systems, prosecute grooming as aggressively as physical assault, and educate children and families with equal intensity.

“We stand at a crossroads,” Adedire said.
“One path lets AI-driven predation outrun our defenses. The other recognizes grooming as predictable—and preventable.”

A Call for Vigilance and Unified Action

Discussions expanded to include the drivers of violence, highlighting the power of storytelling in preventing it. “People remember what they see and hear,” panelists noted, urging more visual campaigns.

They issued a stark warning:
“Anybody can be anything online.”

Referencing the widely publicized Oboshi brothers’ catfishing case—which led to a U.S. conviction in 2024 and more than 100 victims—experts emphasized the rising dangers of cyberstalking, fake accounts, and identity fraud.

Policy Gaps and Youth Empowerment

Experts noted that nearly all Nigerian states, including the FCT, now operate under the VAV 2018 and Child Rights laws. They praised the introduction of Social Citizenship Studies, a curriculum embedding all 17 SDGs, alongside lessons on cybercrime, illegal financial schemes, and digital safety.

During the event, youths were trained to detect signs of abuse—such as unexplained aggression, withdrawal, or sudden changes in appearance—and were reminded of one core principle:

“Silence is consent. Speak.”

Held at the Abuja Enterprise Agency Hall in Jahi on November 29, 2025, VAV2025 ended with an urgent call for young people to unite against gender-based violence, both online and offline.

As Nigeria confronts digital predators evolving faster than ever, the message from Abuja rang out like a warning siren:

“Protecting children begins long before the first message is sent.”