Chelsea icon John Terry has revealed the devastating mental toll of his infamous penalty miss in the 2008 Champions League final, admitting suicidal thoughts crossed his mind afterward.

Terry’s slip against Manchester United in Moscow cost Chelsea European glory, etching the moment into football infamy.

Now 45, Terry said the emotional crash that followed was nearly unbearable, especially while isolated in the team hotel.

“I was on the 25th floor, just looking out the window asking ‘Why?’” he recalled.

“I’m not saying I would have jumped, but those thoughts do go through your head.”

Teammates eventually intervened, a moment Terry now credits as life-saving.

“You just never know,” he admitted.

The pain lingered as he rejoined England duty days later, forced to face United players again.

Even scoring for England shortly after offered no comfort.

“I’d swap that goal for that penalty,” he said.

Though time has passed, the memory still haunts him, especially in retirement.

“I still wake up at night remembering it,” Terry said.

Redemption finally came in 2012 when Chelsea lifted the Champions League — offering closure, but never erasure.